What has happen to me?

Start off by saying I knew the temptation was going to be a motherfucker. But I thoughth I could fight it better than what I have. I find myself drinking at the table bullshitting with people and actually no enjoying what my job is. Yes I have taken some horrible beats, but thats part of the game. Why have I changed some much in just a couple of months. Going to shows partying my ass off, worried about some shit that shouldn't even matter. Trying to fit in and not grinding it out like I should be doing. I'm sure all poker payers go thru it but I thought I was better and stronger for that matter. I guess not! So I have learned some very tough but great lessons in my short time here. I have turned a new page in my life and in my poker career. NO more games no more trying to fit in. I should of done this a long time ago. NO more drinking at the table no more tryng to make friends. I'll have plenty of time to do shit when I make it. I should of been there already but I guess we all make mistakes.... Not me!

So I realized this the other night at the hard rock. I play with this cat all the time and I know how he plays. I can read him like a book. But I had been drinking again. !st hand I sit down and look at AKs I only bought in for 60 so I push knowing I would get called. Hes got QQ I get lucky and hit a A on the river. So I have 120. I grind it to 150 I get AQo on the button He raises to 10 cut off calls I call flop is 10,Q,K he bets cut off calls I call turn is a 10 he checks cutoff check I check. River is a 9 all rainbow. He checks cutoff checks I bet 35 he raises to 70 cut off folds knew he didn't have shit anyway. I think about it I call he has quad 10's. I would of never made that call if I hadn't been drinking that night. Just dumbass shit like that is why I'm changing for me and everyone. I don't do that. But I did. No more not me. Not ever again. The Beau championship is Aug 26 thru Sep 6. Mainevent is 5 grand. But you can sat in so thats the plan. I had a dream. It was good but I'm not going to say a word. Will have to see. Do dreams really come true??????

Do Work son....